As always, let’s start with the numbers …

• Physical Comics Read: 13 (69/89)
• Digital Comics Read: 10 (425/435)
• Trades/Graphic Novels Read: 0 (0/0)
• Books Read: 2 (80/92)
• Movies Watched: 1 (207/209)
• TV Shows Watched: 0 (52/52)
• TV Seasons Watched: 0 (96/96)
• Podcast Episodes to Listen to: 87

Man, March flew. April’s looking like it’s going to be no different because every weekend and many weekdays seems to have something added to it–an appointment to keep or something to attend. When you are actively trying to avoid overconsumption, save, and pay things down, this can be a little bit dangerous. Or at least it can feel that way for me, who has had problems with willpower and staying consistent when it comes to good habits and concious choices. Feeling rushed into something, overstimulated, or under pressure can often cause me to almost “binge” on the bad habits and when I pull out of it, I don’t like what I see.

I guess that’s true for any of us, really. But when you have the same perfectionist tendencies that I do, you wind up getting very caught up in these moments and the guilt and self-punishment can be a load of regret that feeds depression (after the rush/binge moment triggers anxiety). And I think that’s what gets me stuck in a “one step up, two steps back” loop from time to time in the same way the idea of “measurable achievement” is something that leads me down the shame road because I’m either not doing enough or I’m not doing it quickly enough.

And when all of that happens, I need to go back and look at my intentions. It’s something I didn’t do in last month’s update (mainly because I was pressed for time and just chucked something up on the blog), but helps with that needed perspective.

Intention #1: Buy Nothing Old. As far as these intentions go, this has been the easiest to follow and I think even easier than I guess it would be. I’d say that’s probably because I have been able to find so many of the books or movies that are on my list through streaming services and the library. Furthermore, my new comics budget is high some weeks and that means I’m not really flipping through the back issue bins. Two of my five “cheat days” are coming up, though, and we’ll see how I’m able to handle that.

Intention #2: Set a “Shortbox Limit” for My Comics. This is still in process as I continue to read through a bunch of books and decide if I want to keep them around. I just pulled some fairly recent books for a reread as well and I’m making my way through those series before re-filing them. I’m thinking that a weekend in June–about halfway through the year–is going to be the best time to do a complete alphabetical realignment of my comic book collection. But I will say that I’ve got less and less hesitation when it comes to throwing out books that are in absolute crap condition that I no longer want and don’t feel like sending on along with fairly recent books that I know will not sell.

Intention #3: Focus on Experiences. I’ve done a pretty good job at this so far, although I have to admit that I need to find more that is at a lower cost because experiences can get expensive. Not that I didn’t realize that shit costs money but there are times when you sit down and look at your bank balance right before a paycheck drops and start to wonder: “Where am I spending this money?” So … what’s fun and free? That’s what I’m going to be asking in order to fine-tune the idea.

Intention #4: Consciously Reduce. I mentioned throwing away comic books already; I will say that when it comes to other things, I can’t tell if I am reducing or if I am still at my starting point. It’s nice to get things together for a Goodwill drop or a bulk trash day, but I feel like there’s a lot of “piles ready to go” that are sitting around or small piles starting to accumulate, but I’m not doing anything with any of them. And if I’m being honest, this is where that problem I was speaking of earlier–it has to be measurable–rears its head. So I threw away or donated some of the stuff in the drunk drawer. So what? Is that really something I need to celebrate?

Intention #5: Keep Myself Honest. Well, I’m definitely doing that here and I do a good amount of tracking of things like spending, but I will say that I had a pretty bad physical a few weeks ago that was a bit of a wake-up call. I’m nearing 50 and struggling with things like health and weight are only getting harder and the lack of patience I have for the process is intrusive and frustrating.