As always, let’s start with the numbers …

Physical Comics: 11 (9/105)
Digital Comics: 1 (435/464)
Trades/Graphic Novels: 2 (0/2)
Books: 7 (92/110)
Movies: 1 (176/180)
TV Series: 0 (63/63)
TV Seasons Watched: 0 (115/115)
Podcast Episodes Remaining: 122

This is late.

It was also this late last month.

It’s late this month because right around November 1, I had a pile of work, PD, other writing, and podcasting that needed to get done.

It’s late because there’s this weird ebb and flow when it comes to writing for this blo. I continue to track stuff but there’s radio silence, especially in times of business.

It’s late because after last week, I don’t know what to do.

Look, I generally try to not inject politics into my blogging and podcasting unless the topic touche upon them. Even then, I go for some aspect of objectivity and neutrality, or at least level-headedness. In 100 episodes of In Country, I did my best to keep my opinion about America’s involvement in Vietnam to a minimum. I have been slightly more vocal in podcasts talking about 9/11 and the Iraq War, but the difference ther eis that I lived through those events and have opinions based on experience rather than generational and historical hindsight (not that you can’t have opinions about historical events; it just iddn’t serve my purpose when talking about The ‘Nam). Okay, I think I used the words “Double fuck Jerry fucking Fallwell” once, but I don’t think I shoudl apologize for defaming someone who blamed 9/11 on the LGBTQ+ community. This is all to say that politics can get in the way of or affect so much of your everyday life and it’s all I can think about here.

I won’t get too much into my feelings about the winner of the election and his supporters; I will just say that like many who were staunchly “blue” politically, I was absolutely stunned last Wednesday morning and I am having a hard time seeing any silver linings, finding anything positive in the speculation and punditry about the next few, and having pride in my country or faith in my fellow countryman. I am also finding it pointless to want to continue any of what I do for fun in the face of all this; shit, I’m having a hard time finding the motivation to teach. I want to get angry at something. I want to stare into space. I want a complete view of the timestream so I can get some hope that the United States is not doomed to become a dystopian nightmare and that we pull ourselves out of this spiral.

But.

There is national and local when it comes to politics, much like there are the global issues and your everyday life. They obviously overlap and affect one another, but when it comes to you personally, you have to thin about both what you can control and how you can affect change. The latter is … murky right now, at least from where I am sitting, because on a national level when faced with such oncoming awfulness, it’s hard to imagine anything other than being run over. But while I regroup, I think of what I can do to make life bearable or maybe even thrive (if that’s even possible).

It seems trite to say that you find the little things to do that will keep you going, but when you think about it, trite often has elements of truth to it. And this years-long project of working my way through what I have accumulated seems trite as hell–and sometimes listless considering I keep bringing stuff into the house. But then I do think of getting older and of downsizing an dof holding onto what I think I need or what matters. i know that material things aren’t always what matters and attaching emotionl value to them isn’t the most mentally sound thing, but I also want to find my joy and really thinking about where things fit is the key here.

Or something.

I don’t know.

I will say that there is value in escape. I watch sports ont he regular to be entertained (when the teams playing aren’t mine), happy (when the Rangers win), or because I’m a masochist (the Mets). I pull out books for #HorrorComicsMonth or #WarComicsMOnth because they are fun to read and have great stories and I can share them with friends who are reading the same thing. And I write because I still have a passion for it, even if it’s for a blog that has maybe three readers.

This is all to say that I still feel a need to be here.

Aboout 15 years ago, I was having an absolute shit year teaching in a school that I used to call “Redneck Dangerous Minds.” On one particular day that was a nightmare, my department chair pulled me aside and said, “Find your center.” I think about that when I ahve these days of chaos and hurt and hwne I find it hard to see hte four years, months, weeks, or even days ahead of me. It’s not a cure for what ails me, but it’s what I need to hear at times like these.

So I hope that helps you as well.

Find your joy.

Find your center.

Somehow, I hope, we’ll be okay … and I’ll be able to get rid of more of this stuff.