December is #HolidayComicsMonth and while I usually have a few books for each of these theme months, I only had one, which was the final issue of Bizarre Adventures, a book that started in magazine form as Marvel Preview, was retitled in 1981 and eventually was sized down to your regular comic book size. This is the final issue in that series, dated February 1983, and is a full-on Christmas issue that I paid a little more than usual for. But when you see this cover how can you not want it even if it’s $2.99?

The book contains six stories written and drawn by names I recognized from Marvel books of the day, with one Howard the Duck story by Steve Grant and Paul Smith and what I figure was a regular feature by Steve Skeates and Steve Smallwood called “Bucky Bizarre.” 

Now at this point, I only own two issues of this book. The other is issue #29 that has an adaptation of Stephen King’s “The Lawnmower Man” by Walt Simonson. I’ve seen a few issues here and there at my LCS but I’m not that much of a Marvel collector to really go for stuff like this unless it’s something that’s part of a series I’ve already collected (like issues of The ‘Nam Magazine or some of the more random graphic novels). I expected something … well, bizarre, right? I got stuff that was definitely silly and a bit out there.

I’ll start with Howard the Duck even though it’s the second story in the book. I have to say that I haven’t read a lot of the character’s stories (although I have seen the movie), but this take on It’s a Wonderful Life, while pretty much like every other take on It’s a Wonderful Life, is drawn beautifully because it’s Paul Smith during the 1980s (and he was about two issues into his too-short run on Uncanny X-Men, which is one of my personal favorite runs of the book). The rest of the book follows suit, mostly with parodies of Santa and other Christmas stories.

The two that stood out to me were the first story in the book, “Son of Santa” by Mark Gruenwald and Alan Kupperberg, and “Slaybells” by Mike Carlin. ”Son of Santa!” starts off with one of Santa’s Elves going incognito to tell a broke guy named Nick on a Manhattan street corner that he needs to take him to the North Pole. They arrive to find the place trashed and Santa dead. The elf tells Nick that he is the titular Son of Santa, gives him the origin story, and then the villain of the piece–The Anti-Claus–makes his move. I know this predates Crisis on Infinite Earths by two years and a whole other company, but it would have made a fun parody of the Monitor/Anti-Monitor situation (right up there with the Minotaur/Auntie-Minotaur characters in Mighty Mouse in the early 1990s). Anyway, Gruenwald and Kupperberg go for straight-up action with Nick taking on the duties of his dead dad. While it’s a plot that would be repeated in movies like The Santa Clause (which led to more than one generation not knowing how to spell Claus), it’s fun enough to be worth the price of admission.

Mike Carlin’s “Slaybells” is a black/white/read tale of violence and revenge that is cartoony in its presentation but really dark. It almost reads like an Eighties indie comic, to be honest. Anyway, the premise of this one is that years ago, a kid named Raymond and his dad heard a clatter on the roof. When dad went to see what was the matter, St. Nick fell off the roof, and hit dad on his way down, causing dad to fall to his death because Santa landed on top of him. Since then, Raymond has been going around killing everyone he can find who is dressed as Santa. Finally, on Christmas Eve, he comes face to face with the real Santa and they have a bloody confrontation. This one’s off the wall but the kind of stupid weird thing that I would have loved as a teenager and still chuckle at now.

So overall, this “Not For Kiddies (we mean it!)” comic book from Marvel was worth what I paid for it. Does that mean that reading it will become a Christmas tradition? Um …

Keep, Sell, Donate, or Trash?

Sell.